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现年61岁的英国妇人温蒂．沙利斯柏利过去廿年专门和年轻男子交往，不论是和19岁的男孩发生一夜情，或者和27岁的房地产仲介商维持七年恋情，她都乐此不疲，还把这些风流韵事写成「小男友日记」一书。
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就在她的同辈领取老人免费搭公共汽车证，她的两个女儿过着家庭主妇生活之际，这位辣婆却和年轻男子胡搞，而且对她的「癖好」一点也不厌烦。 温蒂说，她希望她的书能号召普天下和她有同样癖好的「罗宾逊太太们」。她语气坚定地说：「只要你能遵守游戏规则，拥有一个体格强健的小男友是拥抱生命。」 她说：「我们的思维必须和男人一样，尽情享受，但也要像男人一样，该放手就放手。如果无法放掉他们，就玩不起这个游戏。」 苗条迷人的温蒂是骨董商，伦敦家中的家具古色古香，不过她对骨董的爱好仅止于家具。她说：「在卧室我喜欢新花头，不喜欢老骨董。」 书中说，她42岁时，19岁的李基（她坚称当时她以为他至少有26岁）在一次滑雪之旅中勾引她，打开她对年轻男子的偏好。49岁时碰到向她推销集资楼的27岁房屋仲介商汤姆，结果汤姆搬进她的集资楼，七年后才退出。 接下来是廿九岁的建商凯文，她和他互通煽情的电子信函。还有英俊的40岁刑警，在她当街被抢后来访问她，结果也发展出恋情，更别提廿多岁的瑜伽老师马克思。 温蒂40多岁才展开她的「小男友奇航」，之前她扮演传统的中上阶层母亲角色。出生在富裕家庭，廿一岁嫁给第一任丈夫，生下长女（现年37岁），但以离婚收场。廿八岁再嫁，生下次女（现年32岁），42岁再度离婚。
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* I2 ~. D6 y" f H人在德国 社区Here's to me, Mrs Robinson! I'm 61 but younger men can't get enough of me
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Wendy has devoted the past 20 years to what might be quaintly called May to December liaisonscsuchen.de+ l1 U# L+ m& r
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A one-night stand with a 19-year-old. A seven-year affair with her 27-year-old estate agent. But is Wendy, 61, even a little bit ashamed about her passion for toyboys? Not a bit of it...
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) J) p. R. Y) U& T6 KAn immaculately dressed woman of a certain age is carefully disrobing in a candlelit bedroom, peeling one stocking away from a finely turned ankle.
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Nearby, a young man looks on, apparently mesmerised. It is an image made famous in the film The Graduate, the definitive cinematic depiction of the allure of the older woman to a younger man.
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For Wendy Salisbury, however, the scene might be described as something of a way of life. : @# }$ F h9 ]
- Y4 F; E$ b6 _: C* n! G" R人在德国 社区At 61, Wendy has devoted the past 20 years to what might be quaintly called May to December liaisons, or in more blunt terms, a toyboy odyssey.
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While her contemporaries collect their free bus passes, and her two married daughters live a life of domestic propriety, their mother is an unashamed devotee of relationships - and sometimes, it must be said, mere physical congress - with younger (at times, much younger) men. And in her seventh decade, Wendy shows no signs of tiring of her "hobby".
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6 q9 z: Q4 ^# m% Y% R, V) X人在德国 社区While some will inevitably think she is both unwise and undignified in pursuing such liaisons, she refuses to apologise for her lifestyle. # h5 [ O" V$ L) D1 M" X
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To prove the point, she has written a book which offers an eye-wateringly frank insight into her many encounters. ' ~7 y f! N' _% r
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Her Toyboy Diaries will, she hopes, serve as a clarion call to her fellow Mrs Robinsons - others will see it simply as an unconvincing exercise in self-justification.
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"Having a fit young man in your life can be extremely life-affirming, as long as you follow the rules," she says firmly.
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"You have to think like a man - especially if you haven't got one of your own. Enjoy it for what it is, but like them enough to let them go. + n7 g9 R& I) G6 v; k
" b) S4 c* `# f( ucsuchen.de"If you are not strong enough to let them go, then you mustn't play the game in the first place."
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Slim and attractive, Wendy is an outward vision of middle-class respectability.
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6 \1 k/ s6 s7 ^# Q( YAt home, her mansion flat in north London is decorated with the heirlooms and fine furniture that befit her profession as an antiques dealer - although this, it is clear, is where her interest in old collectables ends. 人在德国 社区/ W8 W$ v+ P* B8 u! U1 m. O
) Q- S, B7 _, _# Ccsuchen.de"In the bedroom I like antics, not antiques," she announces crisply. 人在德国 社区: ^7 J. a- J( Q$ f7 @% Z' E, n
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One cannot argue with the evidence: over the years, Wendy appears to have worked her way through a veritable cornucopia of young lovers, all richly documented in her book.
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% c9 ^" |9 D5 q6 b8 }! u% xThere's Ricky, the 19-year-old who unwittingly sparked her affection for younger men after seducing her on a skiing trip when she was 42 (in her defence, Wendy insists she believed him to be at least 27).
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There's Tom, the 27-year-old estate agent who came to sell her flat when she was 49 and ended up moving in instead, only moving out seven years later. csuchen.de0 M' K7 W. |, h0 ]7 U
$ n1 }3 E' }, O! `9 [Then there's Kevin, a 29-year-old builder with whom Wendy conducted a rather erotic email romance; and Paul, the handsome 40-year-old CID officer who came to interview her after she'd been mugged in the street and then moved the relationship from the professional to the personal. . U3 u% b4 T/ `7 L+ v; B; t
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Not to mention the obligatory twenty-something yoga teacher, Max, with whom Wendy shared more than a series of stretches. 9 `% B1 \8 u; j5 i0 M. z6 z3 }8 h
7 I) g1 \+ a2 M4 ?" e( aIt is far from the life of quaint grandmotherhood Wendy might have anticipated as she grew up. Until her 40s she lived the largely conventional life of the upper middle-class mother. 3 z) A9 q) U$ P* v9 q0 ?
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Born in London, she was raised by a high-achieving family who made their fortune from textiles. Educated at the French Lyce in South Kensington, she eschewed university to travel and work abroad, and married at 21 after meeting her first husband - a businessman - on her first night back in London. 人在德国 社区5 x$ S; V8 g; F; k8 t
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Her eldest daughter, Poppy, now 37, arrived two years later, but it was not enough to save the marriage, which had, Wendy said, become difficult. ( K; t0 V6 l6 _
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Dustin Hoffman is seduced by the original Mrs Robinson in The Graduate
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The couple divorced and Wendy remarried, aged 28, to a man whom she now declines to discuss, giving birth to her second daughter Annabel - now 32 - a year later.
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4 O& X: w0 ~: Y8 J2 U' }Settled in a flat in London, and by now running her thriving antiques and restoration business, Wendy nonetheless could not help feeling discontented. csuchen.de0 X: ^3 F8 O; X& ]# A6 a* b, A; _
7 b% u8 i5 e. E7 D5 L: q" `4 w' A"I kept myself busy but sometimes it felt like something was missing," she reflects. "All through my 20s and 30s I was married. Business aside, I was a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister.
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"I liked all those roles, but at the same time I knew I wasn't the 'me' I'd started to develop into before I settled down. I felt like that part of me had been cut off."
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& U- f) P/ r& G$ F人在德国 社区When her second marriage failed - the couple drifted apart, Wendy says - the by now 42-year-old divorce moved into a London flat with her two daughters.
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"I felt pretty low," she admits. "I was single for pretty much the first time in my adult life. I felt as if my world had been turned upside down." : a' e( L% P7 M
3 o" a) Z) ~6 l7 tShortly afterwards, she left for a skiing holiday with her eldest daughter, who was then 16. In a neighbouring chalet were two men and a woman, who befriended mother and daughter. , W/ y% Q$ m; g, {8 w5 n
: r) R( t+ e8 ^) h+ CFive days later, on a crisp New Year's Eve, Wendy found herself led away from the hotel's festive celebrations to the bedroom of one of the young men, whom she calls Ricky. 人在德国 社区: C0 B; o: Y: ^
" z I4 w0 G; _+ S" G' j rcsuchen.de"I didn't know what to expect, but when we arrived outside his room he just pushed me inside and kissed me. My knees just buckled," she recalls. "It was just so unexpected." 7 l* X* q. m$ C1 \8 z
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It's fair to say Wendy did not fight it too hard either.
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; \' R1 I0 ^! k; h6 s"I have to say all my rational thoughts deserted me and I submitted to it with glorious abandon.
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7 u/ n a) C% t1 V; u人在德国 社区"Afterwards, I wanted to slap his face and say 'how dare you', which sounds ridiculous, but that was how I felt."
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" b O, @% f }' }+ N1 [, CNo doubt, the revelation that the man she had thought was 27 was in fact 19 was an additional shock to the system. 7 P7 g- J3 q2 l" v- T+ L
; ~! n7 s/ G: z8 [! \, }! c! f, h2 I人在德国 社区"I was a little dismayed as it was incredibly young. But he had made all the moves," she says.
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3 n' N9 f/ ^8 S2 p U6 Q" }The next day, perhaps inevitably, Wendy was dismayed to find her young conquest was choosing to ignore her. 7 `, T& W/ O) H$ |, b# A& b% R& |
g! J+ m& x8 E) S. Y! m0 _# q0 x/ Ecsuchen.de"Yes, I was rather upset. The whole episode had wrong-footed me," she admits. , {+ n7 \% X/ b8 o
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"I am quite controlling by nature and yet here was something that has been done to me. 2 T5 T8 y6 l# }( n1 F; g
" ^4 o, Z) D6 \5 M* z F"I was rattled. It had surprised me that a man of that age should have the confidence to approach a woman of my age. 人在德国 社区2 i! l+ k. | `# B# p1 f
- {' D I+ u- _0 R, f+ [# |"It was obviously a feather in his cap, but I had to ask myself whether it was a feather in mine.
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& P$ q- o3 t. B: `& J; C& ~"I also felt like I had done something morally wrong, but at the same time I wanted to do it again. 1 @1 b* |5 ]8 ^% H+ b9 O6 p0 P- t
2 O- X. C5 x) s# E' d; @5 Q"It was very unsettling. Ultimately, though, I was flattered. And like all flattering experiences, I wanted to repeat it."
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On her return home, Wendy chose to dismiss what had happened and concentrate on bringing up her daughters.
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0 ]2 I. o, M% Y- G& rBut that night in the chalet was lodged in her memory, and as the years wore on, she found her mind returning to it. csuchen.de! {* y2 ~! e& K$ O- [
$ ]; A# t" J+ m8 X( tcsuchen.de"I wasn't deliberately looking for younger men, but what had happened had opened up the possibility. I didn't have a plan of action. I just knew I wanted to date again."
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f3 G: F) |& x/ S5 ]5 _In the event, she was to do more than date: at 49, Wendy met the man with whom she was to spend the next seven years, an estate agent she refers to as Tom, who at 27 was 22 years her junior.
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' D8 x c9 h \) g3 ]* B; Scsuchen.de"I met him after I put my flat on the market," she recalls.
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"We spent quite a lot of time with one another and gradually the professional interaction gave way to more personal chat.
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"Finally, after about two months, he was leaving my flat after a meeting when he blurted out: 'I really fancy you'. I was pretty thrilled. 5 v$ @6 O% ?& A- W+ d$ m
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"We arranged that he would come round for dinner the following night. After that, he pretty much didn't leave."
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, V( K, v# f/ _ J4 `4 `! Hcsuchen.deTom did not move out again, in fact, for another seven years. "It was unexpected, I admit," Wendy says now. # ~5 r5 `" O9 v8 m9 ]; x* I
! C# o) i/ @6 u' f! H; ~"I would not normally expect these kind of liaisons to flourish into such a lasting relationship." # N. Y3 [4 P1 F3 ~7 [/ y
8 b# E( e8 A) i! e' k" |3 |8 p4 t+ CAnd what must Wendy's children have felt? At 27, Tom was only a year older than her eldest daughter. - y9 J( D c1 `
2 t8 g( L D( o! R# o: m3 Q"To begin with, they were very nervous," Wendy confesses. "They were worried I was going to make a fool of myself. 2 R% j9 \' x9 ~- @, E- {1 |
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"They would ask me whether I was sure I knew what I was doing. ; @4 j( J. G5 B9 w9 i8 y- r4 _
$ V! H$ K! v P; v4 [1 O) N$ }"But in the end they came around one hundred per cent." 5 g" D* _& S; e+ [6 ?; @( A
1 `2 s4 Q$ h- y3 _$ J7 XThe relationship ended, she says, not because of the age gap but because the couple, like many others, grew apart and stopped sharing interests. Nonetheless, the parting, when it came, was devastating. csuchen.de6 {( z0 }3 Z5 ?: q+ d1 |' g
! x# |) t; Y( s* r# i: A/ Q人在德国 社区"When Tom left, it was the worst year of my life," Wendy recalls. "I was 56, and I had lost my partner, my lover, my best friend.
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* k. b' A w+ _2 y2 L$ N9 v1 u7 dcsuchen.de"Suddenly I was alone again and, ironically, I was more upset than I had been at the end of my two marriages. It took me a year to make myself whole again." 7 Z6 _7 v) m$ x6 Q
9 b4 a3 Z% X5 @3 S* b人在德国 社区That healing process was assisted, seven months in, when she met a young twentysomething buck called Jake at an evening class. 人在德国 社区( f) {- e: a7 m/ \1 _8 O8 r
% a. f, Z; X' T7 `' KThe pair had "one fantastic mad night" together before Jake left to take up a job offer in the US (a "mad fantastic night" that was to be repeated a couple of times on Jake's occasional visits to Britain).
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2 q. n) j; B$ |, Y. N& q$ U7 P6 I人在德国 社区Sporadic their meetings may have been, but it was enough to renew Wendy's appetite for toyboys.
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Among those on the menu in the past five years have been, variously, a CID officer and a plumber, a former public school boy and a yachtsman - none of them over 40 and many in their 20s.
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On one occasion, Wendy even advertised in the lonely hearts column of a national newspaper asking for suitable "Benjamins" looking for "Mrs Robinson". She got "dozens" of replies, and settled for 33-yearold businessman Ben, with whom she had a six-month relationship.
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1 e' [' i2 I" w5 _6 Q; c. Ncsuchen.deWendy is honest enough to admit that love - or lust - with a younger man is not all plain sailing, however. Indeed, behind her boasting, there is ample evidence that her belated excursions into promiscuity have been far less glamorous than she might like to pretend.
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8 T$ R6 Y$ {+ g+ D% jThere have been times, she confesses, when she has been keenly aware that she could produce her senior citizen's discount pass on cinema outings, and other occasions where gravity has played cruel tricks.
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"I admit that sometimes I set myself up for disappointment," she says. "You have to be realistic in your expectations but feelings can always get in the way. The point is that the highs are very high and the lows are very low.
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5 X! `/ ^- p- h1 B"But I would rather live this way than be in the middle."
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While they are perhaps laudable sentiments, undoubtedly some will find it unedifying that a woman of Wendy's vintage should be so vigorously pursuing such pleasures.
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Isn't there, after all, something vaguely ludicrous about a sixty-something grandmother eagerly awaiting her next text message?
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9 I1 l0 {, h1 S# ~2 _csuchen.deAnd what of the time when her looks finally fade and a long oldage beckons with no sign of a loving companion of her own vintage? 人在德国 社区1 o. m) a/ j3 U+ X. o% ?9 z2 @7 |
2 d" y" P: ]2 A9 g2 V7 jcsuchen.de"To the women who crinkle their lips at me I say this: what would you do if a beautiful young man landed on your doorstep with a bunch of flowers?
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"We have a hugely hypocritical attitude to older people and sex. We don't bat an eyelid when wrinkled old men gad about with young girls so why not the other way round?
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"In many ways older women and young men are a perfect match - we have the experience, they have the energy. 人在德国 社区' m( y; C1 u6 w& h; b& k
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"There is no exploitation here. No one is forcing these young men to do anything. : e, B+ l# l( T% h; i" Z- P5 [. \
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"The people who really disapprove, in my experience, are those that think they can't do it themselves."
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. e9 R2 s% Z" UThe experience, however, is not for everyone, Wendy admits.
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9 E! w/ [7 N) D! }"Friends of mine who have had sons say they could not contemplate it because it would feel too incestuous, but having only had daughters I have never had to struggle with that conflict." 9 f3 Q0 {7 Z* \, C5 b8 E
) {1 w/ s, f! `& tHer own daughters, both now happily married and one with children of her own, are meanwhile quietly tolerant. 人在德国 社区* m7 S$ [2 G) M
) t# U$ ~' A) ~3 }9 DHowever, Wendy insists: "I've told my daughters and my mother not to read the book. They don't need to know the details of my sex life, and besides, one's children don't know everything. 1 \$ s- S f: D4 u y) @4 M& Q% ]1 y
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"The book's not written for them anyway. It's written to inspire women over 45 into believing it needn't be over." % [$ a1 a2 D+ f4 Q& x/ U$ G3 _0 q
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The point, she says, is that she is far from alone among her age group in actively pursuing love.
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"In the past, if you were widowed or even divorced at 55, then you were thought to have had it, but now a lot of people my age are living very young lives.
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. g {, T5 {9 o; ?) v8 T" w"Sixty-something women aren't all little old ladies in the post office queue. They are vibrant and sexy, they are internet dating and going on singles holidays. H7 Y6 J0 U* j
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"I think we are the first generation of this age to be living a full social and sexual life." & C2 F' r/ `0 [# v9 s/ A; W
3 v/ j$ M! Y. m3 Y6 ?' ^csuchen.deWendy is certainly living proof of that - and maintains the best is yet to come. While she has not ruled out meeting a man her own age, her eye, she says, is inexorably drawn to youth. # O! Q! W% K! F
& L% P' S. C! {2 dcsuchen.de"I feel as if I may have another 30 years of love life left and I would rather spend it in the arms of a vibrant young man than an old fossil," she says. I' Q3 h, T0 S7 ~' J$ k/ Z% z
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"If people ask why do I do it, I tell them I do it because I can." csuchen.de7 q+ c4 }6 O) |: [6 H. F/ b+ m: v
3 u( j& {# r. p, N( D( Icsuchen.deDefiant words, but perhaps they ring a touch hollow? Remember, The Graduate did not end happily for Mrs Robinson at all.
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9 Z4 B) l+ u* m0 ?+ a" L4 O[ 本帖最后由 日月光 于 2007-6-28 21:26 编辑 ] |
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发表于 2007-6-28 20:24
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