Communication Gaffes

黄药师

>A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest,
"I almost had an affair with another woman."
>The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
>The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but
then I stopped."
>The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.
You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."
>The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked
over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
>The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw
that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
>The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and
according to you, that's the same as putting it in."

A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness,Opportunity, Threat) Analysis.
>
>         He said, my strength is my wife.
>
>        My weakness is my neighbour's wife.
>
>         Opportunitycomes when neighbour goes out.
>
>        Threat comes when I myself go out
>