Anger management

黄药师

>Think about this the next time u get angry.
>
>When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
> >
> > >it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it
> > >out
on
> >
> > >someone you don't know.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
> > >forgotten
> >
> > >to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying
> >
> > >"Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with
> >
> > >Robyn Carter?"
> >
> > >
> >
> > >Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in
> >
> > >number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe
> > >that
> >
> > >anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number
> > >to
> >
> > >call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
> >
> > >digits.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
> >
> > >When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled " You're an arsehole!"
> >
> > >and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'arsehole' next
> > >to
> >
> > >it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
> >
> > >paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "
You're
> >
> > >an arsehole!" It always cheered me up.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'arsehole'
> >
> > >calling would have to stop.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
> >
> > >Telstra. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID
> >
> > >Program?"
> >
> > >
> >
> > >He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
> >
> > >arsehole!"
> >
> > >
> >
> > >One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
> >
> > >Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
> >
> > >patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been
> > >waiting
> >
> > >for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale"
> > >sign
in
> >
> > >his back window, so I wrote down his number.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >A couple of days later, right after calling the first arsehole ( I
> > >had
> >
> > >his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW
> >
> > >arsehole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
> >
> > >asked.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house,
> >
> > >and the car's parked right out in front."
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"What's your name?" I asked.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"I'm home every evening after five."
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Yes?"
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Don, you're an arsehole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to
> >
> > >my speed dial, too.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came
> >
> > >up with an idea. I called Arsehole #1.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Hello."
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"You're an arsehole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Are you still there?" he asked.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Yeah," I said.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Stop calling me," he screamed.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Make me," I said.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Who are you?" he asked.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"My name is Don Hansen."
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Yeah? Where do you live?"
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Arsehole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house,
> > >with
> >
> > >my black Beamer parked in front."
> >
> > >
> >
> > >He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
> >
> > >saying your prayers."
> >
> > >
> >
> > >I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, arsehole," and hung up.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >Then I called Arsehole #2. "Hello?" he said.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"Hello, arsehole," I said.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"You'll what?" I said.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >"I'll kick your arse," he exclaimed.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >I answered, "Well, arsehole, here's your chance. I'm coming over
> >
> > >right now."
> >
> > >
> >
> > >Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
> > >lived
> >
> > >at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there
> > >to
> >
> >
> > >kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war
> >
> > >going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there
> >
> > >just in time to watch two arseholes beating the crap out of each
> > >other
> >
> > >in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news
> >
> > >crew.
> >
> > >
> >
> > > >>>NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works
>