Memo to all students: In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed on the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Students who don?|t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATION EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don?|t have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERESTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).
This course empathises how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.. If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
Yours sincerely,
Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Special High Intensity Teaching
(D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T.)
翻譯
給所有學生的備忘錄：
為了確定學生能達到水平最高，有工作質素最好和生產量高的標準，
我們定下了一個名為「特殊高質量教育（SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
[簡稱為「屎」(S.H.I.T.)]）」政策以保證所有學生都有優良的質素。
那些考「深屎」不及於的學生將要接受「學習態度訓練（EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING
[簡稱「吃屎」(E.A.T.S.H.I.T.)]）」。由於我們的教授們在畢業前都已取得
「屎」，他們將不用再做「屎」，而且還算擁有完全的「屎」了。要是你也
有完全的「屎」，而又對教授其他人的這份工作有興趣的話。我們可以將你
的名字加進我們的「基本認識教授人員列表（BASIC UNDERESTANDING LECTURE
LIST [簡稱為「牛屎」(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.)]）」中。至於有意欲從事管理及
顧問之行業的學生，我們將會將你交予「管理調查教育部（department of
MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION [簡稱「多屎」(M.O.R.E.
S.H.I.T.)]）」。
