1:某次英文考试有两道题目:
>>>>
>>>>(1)我穿上外套,却发现第一个扣子掉了。
>>>>
>>>>(2)他听见电话铃响,就过去接了电话。
>>>>
>>>>正确答案应为:
>>>>
>>>>(1)I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.
>>>>
>>>>(2)As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it
>>>>up.
>>>>
>>>>但是某生的答案是:
>>>>
>>>>(1)Shit!
>>>>
>>>>(2)Hello?
>>>>
>>>>2:某男,亦粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是:Sex,该男思之久已,毅然
>下
>>
>>>>笔:“Once a week”。
>>>>
>>>>签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or
>>>>female.”
>>>
>>>>
>>>>该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female”,官楞之,曰:“shouldn’t it
>>>>be male?”
>>>男急
>>>>释曰:“I am a normal man, so I ... with female.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>3:老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money.
>>>>并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤
>>>
>>>>姆是玛丽。”
>>>>
>>>>小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
>>>>
>>>>老师说:Go ahead.
>>>>
>>>>小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the
>>>>toilet?
>>>>
>>>>老师说:Go ahead.
>>>>
>>>>小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么
>不
>>
>>>>去?小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>4:话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的
苹
>
>>>>果。
>>>>
>>>>A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大拇指
>>>>道:「I AM 后羿!」
>>>>
>>>>B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:「I AM
>>>>丘比特!」
>>>>
>>>>轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐
出
>
>>>>句:「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」
>>>>
>>>>5:一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感,于是对着男友说:“SAY
>>>>‘I LOVE
>>>>YOU!!’SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!”男的答道:“IT!”
>>>>
>>>>6:一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线
是
>
>>向
>>>
>>>>左转。他不放心的问道:turn left?监考官回答: right.
>>>>于是他立刻向右转……
>>>>
>>>>7:某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I
>>>>am
>>>sorry.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>老外应道:I am sorry too.
>>>>
>>>>某人听后又道:I am sorry three.
>>>>
>>>>老外不解,问:What are you sorry for?
>>>>
>>>>某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.
>>>>
>>>>8:某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao
>>>>liu,外宾曰:我他妈还是方
>>>>片七呢!
>>>>
>>>>江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻
>拍
>>
>>>>马屁道:“Miss Jiang, you are very
>>>>beautiful.“翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴
>>>上
>>>>还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:
>>>>
>>>>“Where? Where?
>>>>
>>>>外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:
>>>>“Everywhere,everywhere.“翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了,但总是
>要
>>
>>>客气
>>>>一下:“不见得,不见得”。
>>>>
>>>>翻译赶紧翻成英文:“You are not allowed to see, you are not
>>>>allowed to
>>>>see.“
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>9:上初一的时候,英语老师让我们读课文,恰好是一段对话,于是叫了一男一女
两
>
>>个
>>>
>>>>同学来读。
>>>>
>>>>男:What time is it now?
>>>>
>>>>女:It’s nine.
>>>>
>>>>男:Let’s go to bed.
>>>>
>>>>女:We go to bed at nine.
>>>>
>>>>全班绝倒。
>>>>
>>>>10:一次为一个初中小孩搞家教,在其英语课本上发现如下恐怖字眼:爸死(bus
)
>
>>爷
>>>
>>>>死( yes )哥死(girls)妹死(Mis)……死光(school)作者: 烟雨六朝事 时间: 2006-11-13 15:06